Tuesday, 31 December 2013

The State of Us

Here are my predictions for my 2014 social media status updates. I was going to give it a clever title that was a homophonic pun on media that included the words 'me' and 'year' but I decided that looked silly.

January

Is hanging
Can't get this banging out of my head
Will definitely be staying in bed today
Definitely not drinking for 
the rest of the month (except for
Jen's birthday...
And Maria's birthday...
And weekends don't count...
Nor do Wednesdays)

February

Thanks for all those birthday messages
Younger People:
      You are right!
      I am looking/acting/feeling very old
Older People:
      You are right!
      I don't know how lucky I am 
      To look/act/feel so young

March

Is willing winter over now
Is certain it was warmer this time last year
Has had it pointed out by fifty pedants that last spring was the coldest spring since records began

April

Some thoughts on Easter:
      Too concerned about cavities for chocolate eggs
      Too incredulous for church

May

Is venturing outside for fun not necessity 
Is ankle-deep in bluebells
Has dipped a toe in the grey North Sea
(will give it a couple of months before
offering any further body parts)

June

Is off on holiday :)
Is back to work today :(

July

Is barbecuing
And drinking beer
With friends on sunny Sunday

Is skipping work
Due to dodgy tum
And hangover and sunburn

August

Some thoughts on festivals:
      Three days no sleep was more appealing once
      Three sleeps a day is more appealing now

September

Still feel Back-to-School
Although I haven't been to school
for years, I still get stage-fright dreams
and homework anxiety in September

October

Is all partied and pumpkined out

November

Photographs of moustaches

December

Xmas I expect
It all seems very distant and harder to predict 

      


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