The State of Us

Here are my predictions for my 2014 social media status updates. I was going to give it a clever title that was a homophonic pun on media that included the words 'me' and 'year' but I decided that looked silly.

January

Is hanging

Can't get this banging out of my head

Will definitely be staying in bed today

Definitely not drinking for 

the rest of the month (except for

Jen's birthday...

And Maria's birthday...

And weekends don't count...

Nor do Wednesdays)

February

Thanks for all those birthday messages

Younger People:

      You are right!

      I am looking/acting/feeling very old

Older People:

      You are right!

      I don't know how lucky I am 

      To look/act/feel so young

March

Is willing winter over now

Is certain it was warmer this time last year

Has had it pointed out by fifty pedants that last spring was the coldest spring since records began

April

Some thoughts on Easter:

      Too concerned about cavities for chocolate eggs

      Too incredulous for church

May

Is venturing outside for fun not necessity 

Is ankle-deep in bluebells

Has dipped a toe in the grey North Sea

(will give it a couple of months before

offering any further body parts)

June

Is off on holiday :)

Is back to work today :(

July

Is barbecuing

And drinking beer

With friends on sunny Sunday

Is skipping work

Due to dodgy tum

And hangover and sunburn

August

Some thoughts on festivals:

      Three days no sleep was more appealing once

      Three sleeps a day is more appealing now

September

Still feel Back-to-School

Although I haven't been to school

for years, I still get stage-fright dreams

and homework anxiety in September

October

Is all partied and pumpkined out

November

Photographs of moustaches

December

Xmas I expect

It all seems very distant and harder to predict