Tuesday, 31 December 2013

The State of Us

Here are my predictions for my 2014 social media status updates. I was going to give it a clever title that was a homophonic pun on media that included the words 'me' and 'year' but I decided that looked silly.


Is hanging
Can't get this banging out of my head
Will definitely be staying in bed today
Definitely not drinking for 
the rest of the month (except for
Jen's birthday...
And Maria's birthday...
And weekends don't count...
Nor do Wednesdays)


Thanks for all those birthday messages
Younger People:
      You are right!
      I am looking/acting/feeling very old
Older People:
      You are right!
      I don't know how lucky I am 
      To look/act/feel so young


Is willing winter over now
Is certain it was warmer this time last year
Has had it pointed out by fifty pedants that last spring was the coldest spring since records began


Some thoughts on Easter:
      Too concerned about cavities for chocolate eggs
      Too incredulous for church


Is venturing outside for fun not necessity 
Is ankle-deep in bluebells
Has dipped a toe in the grey North Sea
(will give it a couple of months before
offering any further body parts)


Is off on holiday :)
Is back to work today :(


Is barbecuing
And drinking beer
With friends on sunny Sunday

Is skipping work
Due to dodgy tum
And hangover and sunburn


Some thoughts on festivals:
      Three days no sleep was more appealing once
      Three sleeps a day is more appealing now


Still feel Back-to-School
Although I haven't been to school
for years, I still get stage-fright dreams
and homework anxiety in September


Is all partied and pumpkined out


Photographs of moustaches


Xmas I expect
It all seems very distant and harder to predict 


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